Angel full of Love

You'll be in my heart -japanese version

2012-02-09T19:29:00.000+08:00

stayin strong

2012-02-09T18:59:00.003+08:00

after i heard the bad news. i litherally cant stop crying.. why oh why.... yet a friend said it might be a drama.. jus a lie. since they post accident up all the time. every single accident. but.. why would he lie to me.. i believe he would not lie to me. i trust him.. but if it real.... it make me worried... i wan him to get well n be fine.. i need more information. i feel like jus flyin over for a visit.. or jus foldin paper crane n send it over... how much lies are there. how much truth are there. should i believe every word? mhmmmmmmmmm no i shouldnt doubt. i should stay calm n cheer for him. praying he get better soon... i should stop cryin take care of myself.. he be okay.. my tears jus wont stop flowing. makin my eyes tired n me fallin asleep...=( im so tired.. my family, mom bro n everything.. i might collaspe soon.. i don wanna add to his worry. pls get well soon n come back fine.. its okay.. i believe.. the news jus too big an impact. only today i start to think... i care.......... i suddenly lost my tongue. i cant think straight.... it be okay.. it will be... afteral it been 3year...

tired...

2012-02-01T16:12:00.002+08:00

alot happen lately.. both good n bad. happy n sad. like u can see. life have so much up n down... but overal. im fine. each passing day. it feel like i got older. this few days. i even start tryin to cook... goin market n buy stuffs.. n sendin bro to sch.. feel like a housewife. rofl.. n learning how to be a mom.

i learnt a few things too. wat are meant n good for me n to be mine. i feel happy.. n sad.. mhmm complicated.. i feel thksful some stuffs happen.. ignorance is blissing but when push to the limit. it break..

today i rec another two songs. haha maybe i really like to sing... im happpy -smmile- i have to stay happy... why should i stay sad? nothing gona change anyway..

worrying nightmare

2012-01-16T23:37:00.002+08:00

Wat m i doin. Wat have i done.. Rite now Im freaking myself. I had one of the worst night. Waking up at 4am due to my dream.. I dreamy doc said i left 5month to live... Sigh... Dn later on i saw reaper. So not funny. Wat is this to mean... But Im really really lookin forward to April. Rite now. I really really wanna a job. N Im happy. Thing are cheering me up... Life just full of too much up n down. N Chinese new yer is near... Im kinda excited. Yet i feel like Im wasting time. I got to work harder. Even harder now... But i feel so tired... Alot goin on my mind now... As my heart beat slowly.. Like it might stop.. I should just try to keep staying happy. But i just feel stress n tired. N if u ask m Wat.. I really have.no idea... Lol... I will update again. My mind too much jn a mess for me to blog.

Last Christmas - Hilary Duff

2012-01-15T12:37:00.000+08:00

this song is so nice... meaningful too.. <3 im addicted to singin it. my life been so wondering. alot of up n down. it will work out. its a new year.. its now a new year... dragon year..............

happy

2011-09-01T16:04:00.000+08:00

=D weeee.... im upset. but now suddenly something cheer up me.. asiansoft call.. i hope they call again.. n offer me that job. i would be so elated.. =D

初恋这件小事First_loveสิ่งเล็กๆ ที่เรียกว่ารัก

2011-08-31T12:52:00.000+08:00

this movie made me cry... its hmm touchin.. seriously sweet..

hm

2011-08-22T13:21:00.002+08:00

i think i found out something i shouldnt but its okay...
its be fine... cos... its still the same... i wish i can get that hope. so i can make my future come true.

regretful.. lolz

2011-08-11T16:37:00.002+08:00

suddenly.. i feel bad over ytd.. yet.. at the same time... ik that... im in love.. idk wat to do. i feel helpless. but it still make me smile thinkin of him.. weird... im weird.. but... its okay rite.. <3

i lied. a white one

2011-08-10T21:40:00.002+08:00

Today i lied thru my teeth. Though Yh its nothin at all. At least i told myself that. Den.. Y is my heart hurting. Each time u wanna ask something or had something to say. I feel so scared. I told him its ok. Rite now i uneven feel like talking.. It hurt.. I Don dare admit. I suddenly Don even feel like looking at my cell. Cos Idk if my heart can take it. Srythat i love u. Sry that i need u. Sry that even got bold to admit it out. I Jus feel like. I should Jus hide it n keep silent. Idk if Im ok. If Im. Y m i scared? Y does my heart feel pain. Y do i feel like crying. Wild n stupid tot keep come to mind. Ik i wry too much but i cant help it. Im stupid.y m i so scare. Cos i think his the one? No. Cos i feel his the one? Can i trust my feeling for the last time? Does he wan n love me? Im panicked. Y m i crying when i said its ok. Y m i so fragile. Y is my heart telling otherwise? Its aching. Y did i fell for u n wan u so badly? How did u rob me off? Idk Wat to say. I Jus wish.. Im slp. Till the faithful day come. Ik ur not leaving. It Jus a stab.a shower will help. I can cry for all i wan n none can hear me. Ur the one. I wont let go.. U make me smile. Its gd enough...

weeeeeeee... my very 1st smartphone

2011-07-14T09:14:00.002+08:00

hehe so excited. ytd was a fun fun day... i got my new phone.. =D that part of the fun. i haven start playin wif it yet cos i reach home late. haven charge the phone.. n best part. its so new.. idk how to use it... >.< hehe...

2ndly i get to chill at carl jr wif my mum n bro ytd. its was so fun~~~~~ den we went home in evening. but i cant eat any dinner cos i feel full. (from drinkin too much soda) hehe such a fun day...

it feel so carefree too.. i haven got my phone ready yet cos.. well i haven get it's screen protector.. haha n other barang barang..

random..

2011-05-25T22:11:00.002+08:00

lately.. idk why. i jus kinda like the two songs again... so i guess im share it again...

sigh

2011-04-14T12:04:00.002+08:00

as time passes.. im havin doubt.. its endin bad eh.. similarity are turning bad. so much differents. its jus like rock against rock..

i feel like im losing myself.. or im so trap. cos i cant be myself.. wat should i do? jus ignore n be myself? maybe that would work... =D

hmmm.... i really wonder. wat is love? izzi me. or i don feel anything?? =/ i feel so tired... donno wat to say.. sigh nvm..... goin so wrong..

so in doubt.. wat goin happen next................ who the one........... does my dream mean something?

ur knownlegde? MY ASS!

2011-04-11T13:31:00.002+08:00

woot.. im so fkin piss off.. totally mad!!! was already pippin hot ytd n try to cool down.. wow n yet again today. i could so murder someone over it...

1stly u read ur country rules. so wat. its only in ur country. its not even written in my book. itz printed n made in singapore.... but under licence from england. there no such fkin thing as trade.

calling me a fool, den now saying i don act like a woman eh.. "Please revert to acting like a women to me like you were before, nice and accepting of my knowledge." how jerk is that?! zzzz i could so wack the wall..

maybe my dream is telling me something... i wonder wat it mean to have someone proposeing in a dream.. maybe ur rite to get jealous. cos it mean something which even idk...

im super highly in doubt now. makin me think deep. makin me wondering.. haven been so upset.. maybe love is hardly sweet. its always bitter.. if this keep goin on, i might get too tired... so its stupid to fight wif u? well even salesman hate me, when i start to debate.. we like two rock, goin to bang hard.. i not goin to always let in. im studdorn n strong will, n for this i believe im rite.. im tired of being weak. why m the gal always he the one who let n say she is wrong when she not wrong?

how will this go. i no longer know. but im so piss that im on the verge of thinkin goin my own way. maybe mum is rite.. i hate fight n quarrel n u assume i assume, when i did not.. n even assume i love fight,. w.t.f..

wow i haven blog for awhile cos been busy but today im so puiss i got to whine somewhere but not to u.. cos it get into worst conflict. it makin me feel like jus keep quiet. maybe stay abit distance. silence have always been golden. i have always been talkin alot.. its time to retreat. idk wat to do. my heart feeling dead.. this whole thing feel so childish n dumb. keep insisting there is trade when there no dumb trade in mine rules. den keep fightin n saying ur rite.. don assume everyone is from new jersery. so wat urs have. the board here all don. noone play trade either.

if im a fool n not a woman den wat for u wan me.. get someone who suit u better.. who always let u win, always like a lil woman, agree to everything jus like a dog following blindly. my bro once say why m i like a dog. follow behind, so not like me, wat can i do, he like it that way. i tot wanna please him abit. n thing are better not say incase he get sensitive n upset.. my bro also once say he is like petty but that him. im gettin tired... the whole issue feel stupid.. my mum keep askin did he has a job? i tried to hint him ask him et one, he say his mum ask him don wry, lol mummy boy? ppl ask u don wry, u really don? well u got to do ur own part too, its ur life not ur mum. sigh... my mum was saying a boy need to work.. im workin so hard, tryin to save up help family. i don have all the time to sit infront of comp n give u all my attention anymore. im tryin to give u more.. but i cant. yet ur gettni greedy for even more.. how to fulfil ur hunger? n if i do that. that will delay the future.. n thing jus got worst everyday..

i see light now.. light that i tot its darkness.. that the darkness is brighter. that i wanna walk back in.. it jus hurt.n it jus feel so dumb.. im wondering. wat happen in future?? fight everyday? i don like quarreling. fight infront of kids? that so irresponsible. sigh.. wat should i do... should i jus let go. so it hurt us lesser? i always make u mad, but i always get so sad cos of ur sensitive. i cant always be explainin when u jump into thing... are we the rite pair?? im startin to doubt. i feel so insecure now.. which i nv feel before wif u. i don even know when ur goin to jus snap. i feel cage. cos even talkin to guy frens can make u unhappy. i no longer feel like myself. i cant even talk wif frens well. i scare u get unhappy. yet makin u happy make me feel unhappy. scarfice muz be made. but im thinkin izzi worth. my life goin weird...... rite now i jus wanna cry. its was fine before. but why thing have to change n got worst? it go wrong n wrong... love is selfish ik but..sigh.. so not wat i wan. idk how to love............ maybe im jus a bitch... better off dead...

OCBC cycle 2011

2011-03-11T10:44:00.002+08:00

awww, im posting this up so late cos my net have been down. sigh. been down since last week wed. =( that so long ago... but den again its fine.. cos ocbc cycle is on sat till sunday late noon. its an overnight event..
-woot, once again, its one of the event of the year. OCBC cycle. its one of singapore biggest sport event. n this year.. i was selected as a volunteer leader. i was so so excited n finally the day arrive ofc before it, there was lot of briefing, preparing n so on.. lucky most of my crew are nice n dependable. but on the very actual day. some still pull stun. when im already left wif 9 ppl, two disappear on me, one being sick, n one fly back to vietman, how uncool is that. lolz.

that early mornin i reach early cos i went for movie wif my frens. =D we watch gnorme n juliet. its sad, happy n funny... well. when i reach f1 pit its only 11plus pm. super early, so i collect my logitic, namelist, grid phone set, accre pass, shirt, sandwich. lol. they said they cant find my namelist for crew. n they gave a wrong pass, guess everyone is nervous. den later on. i cant collect my logitic cos i don have the list but they din give me a list. im glad all is fine later. cos i ask them to check for it n give me though i don have list. thing went more smooth later. cos one of my crew brought another frens along so i have 8 ppl. better den none. but shockingly my manager said that 8 ppl not enuff. so he try transfter ppl over. (to add-on my crew reach late cos the bus come late, my manager got me panicky, n cos they reach late. their t-shirt size all run out) i got them their supper(sandwich n banana [xtra banana] cos they wan it n my team are all males. lolz energy needed for growin boys)

later on... my manager transfer 8 other peep over from pen crew.. idk if they are unlucky or unlucky cos some crossing are busy yet some are so relax.. but there some part where they pen get a scolding cos of being slow..

on n off we keep hearing bout accident on the comm set.. n at bout 10, we heard something bout singtel phone being down..

my crew are fine except some guy. always disappearing n the old uncle who gave me trouble. n the very troublesome guy whom my frens. detail i will leave out..

wat annoyin is bike park release real late so i got to wait for my bro. while my mum is yellin n naggin away... =/ but afteral it was real fun. im go join again next year.

wat if. u fall for someone u shouldn't?

2011-03-03T09:48:00.002+08:00

every now and den u watch a show, u read a book.. u will notice.. it does happen sometime. ppl always say, its fake, but where do they get idea for books or drama? its always from reallife aint it?

wat if.. some day.. u really fall in love wif someone u shouldn't? or u cant? wat if. u know that even if u did love deep. nth goin to happen. there aint a future n ur goin to hurt urself only? wat will u do? actually it should be wat can u do? lolz emotion is something that cant be control at all, that why it hurt so bad at times, makin u wish ur dead..

few type u cant fall in love wif. married? bro? some guy wif a gf. cos they are taken or it against some rules? wat if, it drop into more den one. wat closer den frens, buddy or fake bro i guess.. sometime u wish for more but u cant do anything but accept n be contented.

have u ever wonder, how to win n get a guy heart? or get a guy to like u or love u? its hard yet easy. its all fated i guess..... but wat if u lose ur own heart without knowing? or forgot to protect it? u end up gettin deeply scar n hurt cos u know its the dead end, fallin for someone u cant. he cant return the love or give u his heart..

but why do u wan steal it? cos u really love him n wan him for urself too. n wish he wan u too. but if u stand in that other person shoes. she wont wan lose him either. u wont wan hurt anyone. but love can be so selfish. it either u get hurt or u hurt others..

even when other try to woo u, n u regret them,. u already hurt someone.. its jus so complicated. sometime it can make u fall till ur broken n nv wanna stand up again. its already hard to understand wat other ppl think.. is there something i can do? to get his heart? to make him turn his heart to me? but izzi the rite thing to do? or should i jus give up cos he belong to someone.

i nv wan to break someone up. but why.. why did i fall for someone else bf. i guess.. we got too lose n he jus too comfy to talk to... im hurtin.. i wont regret i meet him cos its the best thing that happen. but im hurtin so badly.. can anyone teach ne wat should i do? i guess not. im jus cry myself to slp.. T.T

wat should i do?

2011-02-28T13:31:00.004+08:00

is a game cpl the same as a rl cpl? even the dummy know its not. ppl are always seperating it. realife cpl are more impt. game is always jus a game n stay a game.
most guy even jus have a fiance, n cpl gals inside jus for the sake of exp or fun..

how are thing connected? or link? or diff? are virtual even real? u know who behind the comp screen? sigh i think im too sad to continue. im continue part 2 later.

home alone 1

2011-02-16T13:04:00.004+08:00

i bet almost everyone watch home alone before rite? bout the lil boy being alone at home and dangerous criminal always appear to try to steal thing n so on but always landed in a bad shape due to that mischeif boy.

lately, after my dad bought me a camera. i have this very new hmm 'hobby' or do i say, i have been taught a new way to protect myself. partly from dad n another part from tv. that is to use my camera to the fullest. whoever stranger who appear at my door randomly and keep knockin or ringing the bell or they keep lother. i will open the door slightly and snap a pic. 1stly keep as evidence who appear as im alone, 2ndly to protect myself. if anything to happen. i have proof. if police ever was needed. i have pic. to prove im not lying and that. there is a pic of the 'suspect' but my dad also tell me to be careful. cos they might bring acid water n pour on me..

something happen two days ago.. im blog this up.. i have translate the speech from chinese to eng.
there this guy. in white from one constractor company power something.. holdin a book, or file. ringin my door. n knockin. den keep lother ard. but there is a notice at the void-deck saying gov did not send any. so they are illegal. and if anything happen pls dail the followin number.

since im alone. i took the camera. open a tiny gap n snap~ haha a pic =D. den that guy flare up. and a flame war start.
guy: wat did u jus do? del it
me: no, who are u, wat u wan
guy: im a contractor from power *********
guy: del it
me: NO
guy: i also nv step in ur hse.
me: i also nv step out. im inside my hse.
guy: del it now. i also nv go in
me: so? i also nv step out. i need it to protect myself.
at this moment, guy 2 walk down
the two guy whisper.
guy1 & guy2: del it
me: i don wan to. i need it. im alone who know wat u will do.
guy 1: i also din go in
guy 1: fine. den u go in call the police, i will call from here.
me: okay (close the door n lock)
den i call the police n report bout it.. cos they are illegal. loither n sscary..

den the police drop by later. take my statment n my particular. den they said they goin to look ard for them. cos i took a photo of it, they know who to look for.. den they also said that. if they ever come back again. call them..

now i know the hardship of model n those background worker

2010-12-14T21:45:00.002+08:00

lol.. u will nv know the hardship till u try something for urself. this is very true... i guess. i wont wanna go work in the film industry or as a model anymore. though the pay is real good. but the work before the thing is woot... u really will truely uds the meaning of... behind a 10min show. it take 10yr of work.. but actually. it don take that long. but also alot alot of hrs for maybe a few min of film. all the diff scene n those NG take. n those bright bright light shining on u makin u sweat n no fan at all.. woooot.. suana~

no drink or tissue.. n alot alot of take till the director is content.. den even late lunch.. n clothes colour. woot alot alot... to take care off...

but those backdrop ppl like soundman n lightnin have alot of hardwork too. not forgettin camera man. carry the heavy thing. adjust the light. check the sound.. everyone play a part. if one side or one bit go wrong. u got to retake.. its like a big family wif good teamwork.. i now salute them... seeing a one day work. but its was worth it..

well i hope it good when it come out. im expecting that i look fat in those clothes.. HAHAHA so big n baggy n short. so funny. n standin whole day in shoes im so not used to...

fk the theif..

2010-12-13T11:20:00.003+08:00

this world is jus jus jus so unfair.... why does the theif get away wif everything. not gettin scolded too. while the innocent get scolded n yelled at everything... and everytime?

1stly spilt green sugar syrup at me.. mum go. hurry off9 la... i wan use... alawys play play play.. the culrpit? happil went out n eat. mum? happily yell at innocent party.

2nd. STEAL MY stuffs.. theif still say. woot. my candy cannot take. if not pay me whole pack! den steal other ppl thing. nv say anything. so PIG!!! eat so much. ownself finish still steal others. den mum? HAHAHA!!! u only know how eat n eat. go work la. nv work eat wat. den theif leh? still happily play game wif him. wat a fk world!!

i totally don feel belong here... zzz. im so so angry that i wanna kill something... bash the wall also no use... only hurt my hand... she say i only know how to complain over small thing. since when izzi fair? the culpruit always get away wif almost nth or tiny nag.. im jus stating the fact. yet u always scold me over small thing.. say that if i wanna get mad. get out. n sayin that no guy wan me.. ha ha ha!! see who wan a theif for a BF!!! i curse him!!!!!!!!

she eat also wan ppl go wif her... do u think i got appetite? i shall refuse to talk wif them. nth to talk bout. in this unfair place. no freedom of speech..

Our Fav Party Mate~ WOot

2010-11-12T21:20:00.000+08:00

http://www.xfire.com/video/3aa16a/

godly party frens <3 finish FOA champs in 12min too.

i hate u jerk.

2010-11-03T10:13:00.003+08:00

i hate u sazliandy. not cos ur a muslim cos i aint no racist. but cos ur jerk.. wat the hell is ur singliarity when u got a fiancee? n tryin to flirt other gals? and den now sayin that its not in ur control eh. u know u don love her or wanna marry her cos she not the rite one. if not u wont flirt nor ask or talk bout thing like that..u taken me for a dumbo? wat bout that promise of being frens even regardless or wat. n don wanna leave. or me leaving? all jus crappy word of empty talks eh. u even del me and so on. ok fk it u hear me. don hurt me like that even if im jus a frens. im a human!!

kk that aside. i think certain issue to come more to light n talk bout it now.. he should know.. at least.. it wont hurt me so bad inside. m i jus being so selfish? hmm.. maybe im... but. he has the rite to know don he? afteral. i hope its stop hauntin me deep inside. thinkin im a fail...

i heard another crack.

2010-11-01T14:51:00.002+08:00

i jus hear a crack on the once broken heart. it jus deepen the scar.
i know i have no rite to feel upset. but weirdly i feel like its the same everytime n everywhere.. i don like empty talks. i hate to have hope den disappointment. everything jus a lie.
how many chances muz i give? how many lie muz i ignore. how many excuses do i have to come up?
it jus feel like. the more trust or feeling i jus gave u in the morning. u will hurt me as badly in the noon or return me wif a stab from the knife. maybe i should jus take a look in the mirror. look at how stupid i look rite now..

i jus took a cold bath. i dislike the coldness but. i let the water run down me. my ear hurt. but it is nth compare to the one i feel deep in my heart.. tears flow wif the water. that its hard to tell if i cry or izzi jus the water from the shower.

im tired. i need noone. im fine alone. it better that way. stayin stone. behind my own wall. i feel safe. im safe from hurt. i.. don feel like talkin.. should i still give chances? or that it?

why! why do u have to do that. jus give me talks if u cant do it. if ur goin to forget me.. i know u got ur life. don make ur own life revolve ard me. it don. u know very well. why force it. why m i tryin so hard for? i feel so tired n shag. n only end up in more n more hurt each time i try to step further or give more. i end up back at the same spot wif nth more but more scar n wound.

i no longer feel like expressing myself either.. i shall lied for the last time. lettin u know im fine. n.. maybe. jus maybe. i should slide away. ur better wifout me. ur a good person. might be jus the rite one for me. but.. nvm idk. im too selfish i guess. im askin for too much. i should leave till im not so greedy..

F1 tickets after event

2010-09-29T12:34:00.000+08:00

F1 tickets after event
another article. but will the milk ever be the same after gettin spilt. and a word of sry?

YOG volunteers finally get their F1 pass... after S&apospore GP is over

2010-09-29T11:18:00.000+08:00

YOG volunteers finally get their F1 pass... after S&apospore GP is over

hahaha... 298 went flying. so sad.. why did that happen to us?

freakin angry n upset day.(too long)

2010-09-23T14:52:00.002+08:00

freakin bias. ANGRY!!! rage!!!! argh! i feel like i wanna kill ppl. !!! i toatlly do!! im so mad. zzz that fuckin unfair. always side her son. don even wanna say him. always brushin me off sayin that. well i scold him not infront of u. did u hear that? FK U LA! as if u did. when i aint home, he aint ard either. did u even scold him? u push all the shyt to me. im fkin doin everything. n ur fkin son? DID NTH! 0!! now sayin i bark like a dog. FINE!!! i bark. w/e alawys say i nag. yea? so?! i learn it from u. ur the one who nag nonstop at me. only know how to nag nonstop at me. since when do u nag nonstop or yell at ur son?! freakin NO!!! always only me!!! so freakin bias. im so fed up. so only the boy in the family is bigshot? aint gal also human. so wat if i mthly stuffs. sayin that i bark like a dog eh, cos of that, cos mood bad. did u even know wat ur fkin son say or do? all he care is whether his ice-cream melt. HE IS SICK!! UR THE ONE WHO SAY NO CHOCLATE ICE-CREAM BUT DEN?! he still eatin it!! WAT BIG FAT LIAR!!! ask me to teach him math eh,. he don even fuckin listen at all... only orh me. den when say he know. n guess wat. when he start doin? TAKE SO LONG!! cos he say he need to think. den when u ask him,. he say he dono how do!! WTF!!! i even explain n write everything down. so wat this tell u?! he don even fuckin listen at all!!! when he fail or bad grade wat did u do? JUS BLAME N SCOLD ME!! scold ur fkin son for god sake. he the one don wanna listen at all!!

now exam period. less den 2wks. guess wat? everyday comp game. ps1. tellin u fail only wat. nvm la... so on all those shy. den u okok go play. he say 1hr u ok! his result bad. u nag him only awhile. but last time u scold me so fkin mths!!! compare me wif cousin all those!!! now? u did nth!!! SHYT U!!! while only naggin him awhile. u forever blamin, the one who know don wan to teach. or u will go. he follow u. always game. so wat? even u this mum also gaming away!! wat rites have u got to lecture me?! tuition. sayin that i have tuition. as if that my choice. i don wan it either. ur the one who wan it. yeayea. sayin end up get cheated. so? last time tuition where got now so cheap? can under CDAC!!? use ur fkin brain. the whole time. ur quiet when i say ur son. den now u nag at me n say me only! ur son?!!! u nv even say much!! say a few line. den turn back at me n yell!! fkin UNFAIR!!!!

whole morning since i woke up.. i jus woke up n ur home n u keep nag at me sayin i din help u wash dish, u already wrote on paper! pls. i jus freakin wake up only!! cant u ask ur son too. he jus beside u!!... as if im the only child. or m i jus ur maid. all the labour work n yellin jus at me. zzz he come wif other excuses don need wash. drag abit. don need wash. sayin i so old. don wan help u. sayin this n that. all are jus excuses.. always think bout the small one only. or should i say the boy!! everytime!! be it food or stuffs.! its jus so unafir. i work so hard. beg so long to get some stuffs i wan after so many years. n now. all he need to ask abit. n he got it. sometime he don even need ask.!! zzz i wish i was nv here... only sadness in this place.. zzz fine i wash. all of ytd whole day dishes... cant he help abit too? his mind only eat n play n eat n eat n eat.... his mouth cant stop moving... after dinner. fruits. den snack n more snackss... i don even wan to eat sometime. den u will go eat fruits. eat this n that.. cant later? at this rate sure to be fat!! den say im fat. w/e shyt!!!!

he can alawys slap me or beat me n den get away wif it. den u'll always jus say that im whiney n so on!! but if i ever beat him.. u will scold the hell out of this? wat a big diff in treatment. den u'll go yea la ya la im bias la. after i say that out. but look at the way u handle stuffs. always claimin that u regret giving birth to me. I TELL U! I DON EVEN WANNA BE ALIVE OR HERE!! i hate this place man.. zzz. why izzi that if u wanna get something or fix something. iots always i have to do it. if i don help. u always say. the one who know don wanna help n so on... n alawys sayin im so free. don wan help u. i have stuffs to do too. i know sometime u jus wan the comp to play game. zzz bitch... n when i need some cd. u alawys say im so free cant ownself find. den why do i have to do everything when u guys jus sit ard n wait for the benefit later on? im not then only one using it.. after the download n stuffs. u guys jus sit there n watch the show n enjoy all the benefit after i done all the tough labour work of it. cant u jus help abit? even gettin the cd or something? as if i know where u keep it.

always say that my room is untidy but have u ever tots. all those shyt inside there aer hardly mibne.. donno whose toy. whose cardboard. wif all those cans food. all those boxes. they are not mine at all and that table... they are all not mine!! it jus feel like a store-room!!! say i nv pack my drawer. everything u pack something else. u jus shove it into my drawer claimin its mine. but den its might not be. u jus throw all into my drawer den say im messy. ur the root of it!!!

i still have so much angry so much stuffs. i can type this forever... but im tired of talkin.. talkin bout it nv solve anything... it nv does at all.. it jus always u cursing me and so on... haiz.. nvm i got no heart anymore. its jus as dark as the dave. as hard as the stone... forget it. cos nth goin to help anyway... too tired.. give up le... haiz.... nvm don wanna say le. or nexttime when i feel like it...

YOG Singapore 2010 Tribute

2010-09-20T16:44:00.000+08:00

A week of mv-makin craze

2010-09-19T20:45:00.002+08:00

this few days. i lost mood in game. the last week craze was makin avatar. this week. i feel like makin mv. n i made two so far. one have been uploaded n one is still loading. weirdly its so slow =( nevertheless.. i even sub the chinese song. cos i notice noone eng sub it yet. wat if non-chinese speakin person wanna know wat it mean or dedicate to someone they love? haha either way. i'll post both version of that song up here too. as for the other one. wait till the load is done. den ill upload it.
[Eng Sub]我是你的天空

我是你的天空

Perfect Two (Acoustic Version) - Auburn

2010-08-31T10:01:00.000+08:00

Perfect Two
Written by: Auburn
Produced by: Jonathan "J.R" Rotem
Chords by Jonathan Keys

Lyrics:

Verse1

You can the peanut butter to my jelly.
You can be the butterflies i feel in my belly.
You can can be the captain
and i can be your first mate.
You can be the chills that i feel on our first date.

You can be the hero
and i can be your side kick.
You can be the tear
that i cry if we ever split.
You can be the rain from the cloud when its storming'
or u can be the sun when it shines in the morning'.

B section

Don't know if i could ever be
Without you cause boy you complete me.
And in time i know that we'll both see
that we're all we need.

Cause your the apple to my pie.
Your the straw to my berry.
Your the smoke to my high.
And your the one i wanna marry.

Chorus

Cause your the one for me (for me)
and I'm the one for you (for u)
You take the both of us (of us)
And were the Perfect Two.

Were the perfect two.
Were the perfect two.
Baby me and you,
were the Perfect Two.

Verse 2

You can be the prince and i can be your princess.
You can be the sweet tooth i can be the dentist.
You can be the shoes and i can be the laces.
You can be the heart that i spill on the pages.

You can be the vodka and i can be the chaser.
You can be the pencil and i can be the paper.
You can be as cold as the winter weather,
but i don't care as long as were together.

B section

Don't know if i could ever be
Without you cause boy you complete me.
And in time i know that we'll both see
that we're all we need.

Cause your the apple to my pie.
Your the straw to my berry.
Your the smoke to my high.
And your the one i wanna marry.

Chorus

Cause your the one for me (for me)
and I'm the one for you (for u)
You take the both of us (of us)
And were the Perfect Two.

Were the perfect two.
Were the perfect two.
Baby me and you,
were the Perfect Two.

Bridge

You know that ill never doubt ya'.
And you know that i think about ya'.
And you know i cant live without ya'

I love the way that u smile.
And maybe in just a while
i can see me walk down the aisle.

Chorus

Cause your the one for me (for me)
and I'm the one for you (for u)
You take the both of us (of us)
And were the Perfect Two.

Were the perfect two.
Were the perfect two.
Baby me and you,
were the Perfect Two.

Plain White T's - 1234 [Song + Lyrics]

2010-08-30T22:13:00.000+08:00

give me more lovin then i've ever had.
make it all better when i'm feelin sad.
tell me that i'm special even when i know i'm not.
make me feel good when i hurt so bad.
barely gettin mad,
im so glad i found you.
i love bein around you.
you make it easy,
as easy as 1 2,(1 2 3 4.)
theres only one thing two do three words four you.
i love you.
(i love you)
theres only one way two say those three words
and that's what i'll do.
i love you.
(i love you)
give me more lovin from the very start.
piece me back together when i fall apart.
tell me things you never even tell your closest friends.
make me feel good when i hurt so bad.
best that i've had.
im so glad that i found you.
i love bein around you.
you make it easy as easy as 1 2,(1 2 3 4.)
theres only one thing two do three words four you.
i love you.
(i love you)
theres only one way two say those three words
and that's what i'll do.
i love you.i love you
(i love you)
you make it easy, its easy as 1234
theres only one thing two do three words four you i love you
(i love you)
theres only one way two say those three words
thats what ill do i love you
(i love you)
i love you i love you.
one two three four i love you.
(iloveyou)
i love you
(i love you)

Perfect Two

2010-08-30T22:02:00.004+08:00

hehe i have a nice happy day today. hmm actually lately i been very happy. though i have been real tired.. been helpin out wif YOG (youth olympic games). we have uniform too.. i know some real frens.. they are nice. great group of ppl to be wif. happy to know them too..

its cos i have been so bz. so i haven have time to blog.. but today im super happy. cos i got some time wif hun.. n he been so nice.. he alawys have been. so totsful too.. hehe he even share a nice song wif me. ill share it here too. <3 it so much..

aiaki

annoyed.

2010-07-26T21:26:00.002+08:00

alot to say. but when i finally load this page.. i kinda become mute.. idk how to start.. =( alot happen lately. good n bad.. happy n sad. enuff to break me up. let listen to the song n hear me whine.

Sara Bareilles - King of Anything from Sam Garvey on Vimeo.

let me keep it short. 1stly, those bitch are back to atk. haha... lame piece of shyt. nv seem to grow u still as childish.. have to be stronger n more cold blood. i know of nth...
2ndly... i m tired of being very kind n helpful.. nth pay. ppl jus take u for advantage... like they are the king of everything. (almost like the song i post. king of anything)
3rdly. yog is so super near... im get more bz... alot of events have been done. i did really alot alot.. n.. i really should get a job soon. hope i can get 1 from that company.. cos its kinda my ideal job..

I hate myself..

2010-06-06T00:38:00.003+08:00

GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!............... i really hate myself... so much rite now... cant i jus keep my gap shut.. why do i needa be honest bout it after keepin it for so long... its hurt... it really did.. i really wanna cry... i felt it bleed. i felt the pain. i felt ur unsure... i felt ur lost.. i felt so crappy.. i wan it to end.. its jus hurt so so badly...

i m no longer a kid =3 lettin go is blissful =3 let go let go let go~ u have to... its jus a past... don let it be a reason or a burden or anything that pull u down... i know it hurt, i know it will. but u still got to let go. or it hurt even more...

should i jus mia again? i know its runnin away but idk any other way... there no regreting cos wat happen will happen... ur not the one. u don have such fortune. those songs are singin my tales..

headache... my heada hurt so bad... how come sometime no matter how badly u wan it, u cant set ur mind n heart to it, m i being too soft-hearted? why m i always thinkin for other instead of myself? m i so blinded?

others know that i overwork myself badly, yet i refuse to admit, ppl know i have trouble or prob bothering me.. yet i cant see it myself...

dumb me.

2010-06-05T22:56:00.003+08:00

haiz... y m i so dumb? why m i keepin everything to myself again?

why do i always bear the pain by myself? n refuse to even cry out? but wat the point? as nth will be saviour. so wat if u say it out... ist pointless... i jus know...

wat better if everyone hurtin? why not jus i suffer in silence? bear the hurt. not like i nv went thru it before.. it jus make me get even more numb to it...

wat impt is the smile on other. i m tired n hurt all over, it wont matter if i jus add another scar...

maybe it does.. but i wont jus give up on life yet i think.. though i don deny of those tots... its just so hurtful. its jus so sad. yet u acnt cry. tears refuse to flow anymore... it hurt too much... being ice is the best..

other den that. few days ago.. one of the baby birdy die, one of the twin, the other twin will be sadder den i m...

but rite now... i think... i.... m goin to give up soon... its tiring... love is such a chores... i wish i m jus a stone or a metal, or maybe jus a robot wif no feelin at all... i don wan any feelin. i wanna be ice n cold blood.

everything that have ever happen are hurtin more den ever. its true ther are happy time. but i m tired..

lately dream are tellin tales... i don uds all. but each day, i wake up more tired.. i felt something wrong too.. but its not impt anymore.. i m giving up... on life, n on my happiness. its look like an impossible dream... sometime u jus fall for the wrong guy. sometime even if its the rite guy, but at the wrong time, nth come out. or worst. rite guy, rite time, but too far.. its make everything crappy... i m feel so alone... withdrawal symtoms... cold.. shiver... dark....

this is the real dark me... i m emo. problematic. i m veryvery sad.. i wish for a hug to call for my own... =( think i will stop here for today... secretly wishin someone will pull me out... but i fear, noone really care or wan me...

but now... i know i overwork... alot alot... hope i get better soon.. or this is the cue?

wat the point.

2010-05-24T15:00:00.002+08:00

wat the point of being alive, when u feel like shyt? when noone really care whether ur ther eor not? when all u are, are jus extra... ur totally not needed, jus someone who suck up more water n food n water n even jus take up a space. when ur ignore most of the time, feel so transparent... some.. maybe not sometime.. its when ur losing the point or even feelinto .. when u jus feel that its better off being dead den alive? can i really jus give up n i know i wan to do it badly...

wat the point when u tell ur mum instead of jus beatin ur bro up for always injuring u, and all the repeat u get is ignorance n silent... or if u say abit more, she say u nag, n say its ur own biz.. do i really have to wack him? den end up, she yell at me?

wat the point when its so bias? n all u get is nth... all they call u is that person? wat do u do when u don feel like ur part of thing? ur jus an outcast... tears are drippin but wat the point.. noone will care a single bits...

wat the point of sayin anything when w./e words that come out is soundless.. its don cos an impact at all.. its don even travel, its jus linger ard urself, cos everyone jus block it away...

wat the point of being born when... ur like not ther. all u get is scolded, ignore. no love, no care.. no life... its worst den jail, at least got family come n visit u.

n that day... still dare to say.. maybe, jus maybe... i really don belong here... i don wanna be here either.. i don feel happy... my bro cut my leg, not even a single sry, its gettin swollen... i jus don feel rite here anymore... even the closes blood type is diff... wat more is there to say... can i leave now? how do i leave? wat m i born here for? they will nv be proud cos they nv care.. now that they have a son... coax n love are no longer in sight...

its feel so dark.. so lonely... i hate this life... why m i here in the 1st place when u don wan me to? really should jus do it, instead of me havin so much pain now... i m tired... very tired... jus donno... dono how long more i can handle...

slight preview

2010-05-16T22:44:00.002+08:00

haiz... i tml den blog ba.. alot alot to whine bout but i got no time. mami rush me, bro rush me, everyone wan the comp, n its lock inside their room.. light out at 12? but i have insomnia.. how do i ever get to slp... lately its gettin weirder n weirder. but i find comfy in it.. like i don wanna return to reality...

a flash-back

2010-05-05T21:21:00.003+08:00

suddenly i really wanna find this song very much, the tots give me so much strength. idk how explain but its like. i really muz! I MUZ FIND IT.. but in the process, my heart bleed...

Koko ni Iru yo (ここにいるよ)[I'm right here] <---

now as i listen, i feel abit sad yet... happy......

singtel customer service compare to 2wire customer service.

2010-04-28T17:19:00.002+08:00

LOL!!! well, idk to whether pity the guy or blame his bad luck or lagi better... he jus too noob...

two days ago... the net in my hse jus trip. out of sudden when i was doin something impt and chattin wif a 'dessert shop' XD.. my bro being itchy handed went to on the comp in the livingroom, den *tock* the net went out... n the light on the modem went blinkin green.... i try all ways n means to try n fix it.. after wasting total of 30 to 40min, i m fed up... my bro refuse to do anything though its he who spoilt it, my mami side him too, say ask me fix. wtf... den find lotsa excuses to cover up for my bro... deh. retarded sia... so after 1hr, I M UBER PISS OFF!!!! so i search for the singnet number (1688) n i dial it...

(press 2 for chinese) <-- impt key note. but den, its link me to a eng speaker.. =3 nvm.. his name is call naren. so i try to be nice n kind n ask them wat happen to my net why i cant access to it... so he ask me to hold(playin the hold song annoying long wif adv) at last he is back n ta da~ tell me the net is fine... maybe its my modem, ask me restart my modem, den ask me try to reset my modem, den tell me bout wat fliter and any other prob or clue he can jus bombba me wif.... LOL if those work, i wont call, den again, if i know where izzi, i wont call, they are they one who called ppl down to install, fix it, set it all up.. wat if my mum alone, will she even uds or know anything? n most imptly i ask for chinese speaker, y post me to a eng speaker? okay that aside... after lettin me shoot for some min bout wasting my time, proj n all, he say he can send someone down to check, but they cant replace it for me cos the contract expire... n KEEP SAYING WE CANT REPLACE IT... lame. i ask him so u wan me sit here sux thumb? everytime we call u say the same stuffs. but nv replace or help me check it... den i told him for a chinese speaker.. he say call back by today yet noone call, wat a dumb jerk... and to think he ask me a stupid question, when did u last call n ask, tell me the date so i can check the system.. omg... wat a nincompoop!! if u can check ur data, why not jus check? why even ask me? dumbdumb.. i ask him back.. so if ur hp spoilt or line got prob, n u needa call back ur service provider, will u write down the date when u call? NO rite? don ask me stupid question when u know the answer n u ownself don do... u don even uds any shyt. gah... this is call customer service? they provide nth, jus tryin to push everything away... din solve my prob at all!!! and know wat the worst? he still dare to tell me.. maybe ur modem expire.... WTF!! whoever heard of a modem expire??!

after wasting like 3hr... super fed-up, dad home.. try to fix again... its jus... zzzzzzzzzzzzz.. hopeless..... this time we decide to call up the modem company for help

a guy pick up (shaun), well he give me a funloving frendly feelin, unlike singnet cool hackcare tone.. i jus ask str to the point.. wat happen if i cant access to my net? he ask me, izzi is there light on modem, yh, its blinkin green, cos its it red mean no connection... blinkin may due to modem spoilt or powerpluck prob or izzi call cable. den he say i can bring the modem n cable down to his office n check... my dad know the place, but all the same ask me ask for address.. lolz i really prefer to speak in chinese. i can scold even more freely, but i din flare up at him... he kinda funny... he ask for SN and i gave him, n he say oh no, no such number. but i heard the background say.. got, here.. den he go, opsy, how come i cant find it.. but i was tellin him, horhor, u give me inferior gd izzi? that why spoilt... den i ask do modem have expiry date? he told me no too. but he told me, the modem i havin now already stop manufacturing.. now all are MIObox which i have bad impression... so he told me can get from sinlim, jus buy the dsl one.. den after gettin the address, he told me, well u can even come down n say hi to me.. lolz wat a cute guy. but he did answer all my query n question patiently n clearly explainin. unlike the other one. he suggest other i recontract or maybe get it, cable is 35buck, modem unknown, resign cheaper... well, we shall see. its been here long anyway.. maybe get the free notebook. so i can msn elsewhere. XD den mami wont ask me off9, i can chat wif impt ppl. haha

in compare.. well u see the diff in service.. the diff impression... n how someone tone can calm someone else down....

4 all u crack pots‏

2010-04-14T13:33:00.001+08:00

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck.

One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.

At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments.

But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream.

'I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.'

The old woman smiled, 'Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?'

'That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them.'

For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table.

Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.'

Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding.

You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.

So, to all of my cracked pot friends, have a great day and remember to smell the flowers on your side of the path!

爱&不爱你的男人

2010-04-07T10:12:00.000+08:00

爱你的男人会在你睡著的时候抱紧你；
不爱你的男人会在你熟睡的时候出门。

爱你的男人被你打的时候从不还手，第二天会告诉你当时他

很委屈；
不爱你的男人常会打得你不敢还手，第二天会告诉你当时他很冲动。

爱你的男人经常陪你一起自驾游；
不爱你的男人经常带你去夜总会。

爱你的男人经常会帮助你做家务；
不爱你的男人只会指使你做家务。

爱你的男人总会知道你想要什么；
不爱你的男人只告诉你他要什么。

爱你的男人会在你洗澡的时候　为你准备一杯水；
不爱你的男人会在你洗完衣服后仍给你一双袜子。

爱你的男人会把自己的积蓄交给你，即使你是个败家女；
不爱你的男人只会给你零用钱，即便你一分也舍不得花。

爱你的男人总想给你父母好印象；
不爱你的男人到你家里像个大爷。

爱你的男人总会经常教你做人；
不爱你的男人只擅于教你做爱。

爱你的男人经常推掉应酬陪你，但从不抱怨；
不爱你的男人会借著应酬躲你，还时常喊累。

爱你的男人时时刻刻想骚扰你；
不爱你的男人需要时候才找你。

爱你的男人会和别人介绍：这是我老婆；
不爱你的男人会同朋友说：这是我女人。

爱你的男人在你面前总像个孩子；
不爱你的男人就是高高在上的爷。

爱你的男人会把你介绍给他的家人；
不爱你的男人会把你介绍给他哥们。

爱你的男人天天都送你上班，接你下班；
不爱你的男人让你送他出门，等他回家。

爱你的男人经常偷看美女时被你抓住；
不爱你的男人总借口出差而出去召妓。

爱你的男人总是很无能；
不爱你的男人都很牛逼。

Haunting Pastsss

2010-03-31T12:05:00.002+08:00

let start wif a short n happy day.. lolz
rmb my city alive appreciation night, its was a blast, such a lovely night, great food, great show, great fun... i left when they decided to turn the floor into a dance floor party. lolz there was games as well, a tiny one.. for us to win ourself a pair of escape theme park tix, well i din win it.. haha...
he wanted item like: 2 iphone; 3pair of sport shoes(someone bring up 1 pair of nike, 1 pair of puma and 1 pair of addias[oh my, wat branded stuffs]); 4pens; 5belts(the mc joke bout that, before i let the person back, u guys can tug on the pants of those wifout the belt on. Ha Ha Ha); 6blackshirts(cant believe the guys really strips to win, n the mc was jokin wif one of them who went on stage half naked cos he took off his shirt, he ask how old is he and the boi is only 15, oh my, underage, but den the mc told him, since ur up here on the stage might as well pose for us to see... Ha Ha Ha) we got a lovely goody bag to bring back.. haha i get to make some frens too.. and that very day when i was travelin there... i met a few old colleagues n frens. lovely day.. but i really got no sense of direction cos got lost, partly due to the imcomplitance of the person at the mrt. lolz 1stly din give proper direction, i waited for the shutter bus, but when the bus come, the uncle told us the service stop... *faint* den i went back to ask for direction to walk there.. den again, she give me a wrong direction.. lolz everyone was wearing like some prom nite, so grand...

ytd i saw something which tuant me. lolz... haiz... i hate sch, i hate girls.. due to the past ofc... but they nv stop remindin me n haunting me... that why i hardly trust ppl, cos none are trustable... they sux... the more u know bout ppl, the more u know they are selfish. they have motive n thing up their mind. they are cowards too... i feel so angry n so sad... so hate it... oh well.. nvm... don wanna add more speeches..

oh peter birthday is two adys after but we celebrate it two days ago, cos that day my kor off day.. lol we went for dinner n coffee and have lovely chats XD... love that groups of frens... always there.. always so on~

a song, my parents wanna find yet dono the title

2010-03-26T08:57:00.004+08:00

haha. cant believe how smart i m to be able to find it XD and u believe it, they only give me one hint, its a hokkien song... but den again, after i found it, i notice there is only 1 line that is. its actually a chinese song... classic sia.! haha i post it below, u guys can listen to it. =3

一隻牛欲賣五千塊　五千塊欲買一隻牛

i sense a change.

2010-03-25T08:58:00.002+08:00

rite now.. idk izzi me or wat. but i feel like there is a slight change, something bad. i feel myself findin anything to do, to take up all my time. i find myself freezin even more den before...
izzi that i lost interest in monkey or i know too well, don hold any hope or w/e no matter wat he say or do, afteral an attach monkey is still an attach one. nv step near or into others ppl r/s. already break my normal practice to stay ard, accompany and still befrenz. when i normally will stay away...
have wat i did wrong or rite? sometime i feel like he is tryin to flirt ard, sometime i feel like he is pickin a fight, he hardly take care, but i know that wat he wan is jus attention. dislike being really alone.. like a baby, doin everything jus to gain an adult attention, yet if u pay too much attention, he ignore it n take it for granted. gah... weirdo...
i feel so icy nowadays.. bz bz bz... hahaha... i can even feel the shiver in my bone, yet i doin nth... i cant really caer less for anyone. or should i say, i don really care anymore. w/e anyone say, i will still help, but i nv let it into my heart anymore, its jus into my ear, think of solution or advise for u, den out the other ears. or wait, no, into the brain as backup source for other prob's answer. i feel like a dead machine. w/e much emotions..
i know i m weird.. i sense it, yet not doin anything to prevent or stop it... my aim now is work in the mktin sector. hope i get it. mami say as i get older its harder to get a job... workin hard can remove all negative tots. i m learnin to enjoy my 'life' now. seriously i feel that, certain emotion are leaving me... i m slowly turnin into someone icy or stone. fear creep into me, but heck, who really care.
helpin ppl really bring me shortterm joy, n i know fairly well, i been overworkin myself. wat m i tryin to do? get myself sick? idk.... haha... i really dono... *red light flashing*

ai lai guo

2010-03-12T16:56:00.000+08:00

wo kan bu kai ye fang bu kai
yin wei wo ceng jian guo ai qing zhen de sheng kai
wo yao deng dai yi zhi deng dai
deng na yi ge ye wan cong hui yi hui lai

dang ni yong bao zhe wo na yi shun jian
wo xiang fei dao kong zhong
er dang wo huan huan jiang luo
wo bu zai shi wo
wo you le meng wo zai meng zhong

ai lai guo lai de na me mei na me xiong
huan hu zhe cong wo sheng ming hen hen nian guo
lian yi han ye dou bu zheng qi de zhen xi cheng xiao rong
ai lai guo rang wo wan zhen guo (rang wo) xin fu guo
zhen me neng qing yi jiu fang ta zou
wo bu xiang jie tuo wo zhi pa cuo guo
wo jiu shi yao deng ni hui lai ai wo

ji mo xuan hua wo bu ha pa
yin wei wo zhi ting de jian dui ni de qian gua
shi jie hen da hui rong de xia
wo zhe xiao xiao sha sha wan gu de xin yang

ni you me you guo cheng nuo wo yi wang le
na yi bu zhong yao le
fan zheng wo dou hui shou hou zai meng zhong shou hou
wo zui wei yi zui me de meng

ai lai guo lai de na me mei na me xiong
huan hu zhe cong wo sheng ming hen hen nian guo
lian yi han ye dou bu zheng qi de zhen xi cheng xiao rong
ai lai guo rang wo wan zhen guo xin fu guo
zhen me neng qing yi jiu fang ta zou
wo bu xiang jie tuo wo zhi pa cuo guo
wo jiu shi yao deng ni hui lai

ru guo xu yao dong yong qi ji lai zhao huan hui ni
jiu rang lei zhen fa xia cheng xue hua
he wo yi qi zai ai zhong bei rong hua

OCBC cycle

2010-03-11T11:14:00.001+08:00

its was ocbc cycle last sunday... lovely events.. haha once again i took bottle of drink home.. wow this time it sure end early. but still its tiring for u got to work n don get to slp... but well. my frens say i m weird cos everyone is so shag yet i m still so hyper... maybe not... maybe cos i m quite used to it i guess..

today my grandpa come to sg.. happy he finish his operation n doin fine...

haiz.. but something upset me.. ppl giving out my number to guys who claim to wanna make frens.. lolz. as if i donno their tactic.. w/e (sad is cos they know me well yet they do it, they know i dislike it... why izzi u?! WHY U!!) . and monkey getin weird too.. =3 lucky i have grown. i m iced. nth really matter. words don kill. say wat they wan, one ear in one ear out. don need think or consider or take anything seriously or the one gettin hurt is me...

when i m more free n the comp allow. i will upload those ocbc pic.. lolz... took quite afew of them... =3

i got alot to say.. but den again.. too lazy i guess.. or maybe i m jus speechless.. i will keep everything short den..

yaoyao korkor have been send back to KL by ambulance to a better hospital wif more factility.. hope he get well soon.. jyjy..

City Alive Singapore 2010

2010-02-22T22:52:00.002+08:00

Haha.. its happen on sat... sat night... the event started at 10.15 till 4am sunday mornin... which start after chingay.. this year, chingay lasted for two days... but we have to reach the place at 6.30.. wow, wat a human jam =x u know wat i mean.. hehe... took quite sometime to reach there... and if u are not familiar with the place. its quite ez to get lost too... especially a blur gal like me =x

its was a fun event.. we get to watch those ppl leaving.. (ppl from chingay) and i saw some cosplay, ther are nice ones and also shyyty one. hahaha!! love and hate them.. spoilt my image of some of them.. yet... some are so cool. almost go gaga over them.. i think its more fun to be a volunteer den join the party.. maybe cos i not a clubbin type of gal. i don like those loud bomin noise. almost go deaf... but den.. its still fun to watch... n chat ard...

that day.. as we are station at one bus-stop, two ang mo walk over, when we are takin our break.. eating snack (bread & biscuit). start talkin with us (both from swezen but workin in malaysia now, one of them is 26yr old. the other one i not sure. but i know he earn an income of RM 17K monthly, which is alot..) they talk to us bout they, bout country. askin us bout the rules... n even say if we ever wan to pee on the street can go france... sayin in swezen. their tax is 30% but den they get free medical and also free. eh i forgot wat.. lolz they even took pic of us.. weird guy... like i assume, they tryin to ' da shan' us.. den later they ask if we wanna join them n go join the fun.. we jus say no.. XD ( its a wrong move to ever say yes)

although it end early mornin but no transport. so i wait for 1st train. and when home, i start chattin with mum till 9, mornin call someone den slowly relax abit to slp.. hahaha.... haiz... feel worried n sad bout my cousin. really hope he wont give up.. be strong... we will support u, u can do it one!!! yaoyao korkor jiayou a!!!!!!

today, heard my parents say, someone from the opposite block, jump off the buildin n suicide =/ haiz...

Pri Sch 6-3 of year 2000 class gathering.

2010-02-19T18:37:00.000+08:00

Omg. its was such a awesome day ytd... miss all those peep. lovely outing n chat.. hope everyone is free now n den, den can hang out n chat.. =3 i don have time to blog much.. so i will keep it short.. =3 maybe i jus don wanna talk much today..

Mp3Raid music code

2010-02-15T13:25:00.001+08:00

evan yo album mp3 | lyrics

free music downloads | music videos | pictures

my mind in a mess...

2010-02-10T23:54:00.002+08:00

eh my mind now really in a mess. wat do i wanna do.. how.. cant decide... i read n read. but i keep cannot decide. i know wat they tryin to know. i know of wat happenin but able to do it n not able to really do it.. gah.. idk la... study? work? m i the material for studyin? wat if i fail? =/ argh!! who can i talk to nicely? gah idk la.... maybe i know the answer don wanna accept?

a spoilt brat as a bro..

2010-02-06T16:21:00.001+08:00

there a few thing which ppl hate.. parents who love boy more den girl... and a bro who is so spoilt brat. end up u gettin scolded for nth... everything blame to u... haiz.... its like hell!!!

jus now i play comp, my bro come n whine n wan it.. den i give him n went to play ps1, he come kajiao... den i went to play comp.. den he come snatch it again... den i went out to watch tv, i notice he not usin the comp at all.. WTF! he is jus out to snatch.... n not using them after i leave... wat his prob. n mami jus blame me.. say today wanna play mj n we fight... zzzzzzzzzzzz i m so innocent... hate this house la..! i feel like jus run away n nv come back again.

haha.. the speech of the day before.... =3

2010-02-04T14:46:00.004+08:00

妈咪：喂~
钢窝大婶：喂，请问X太太在吗？
妈咪，signal to me to pick up the phone......
我：喂，找谁?
钢窝大婶：喂，请问X太太在吗？
我：找哪个？
钢窝大婶：X太太。
我：找哪个X太太？
钢窝大婶：我是工厂打来问。。。。。。。。。。。。(i cut her off with my speeches)
我：你们要打几次？没次一至打来。都说不要再打来听不董吗。。。。。。。。(she interrupted me...)
钢窝大婶：我第一次打来，
我：每次都讲第一次的。
钢窝大婶：每有，大姐你听我说。。。。(wtf she so old call me da jie... kns)
我：大姐你的头啦，我比你年轻，每次打来要问，但问了又入何？何你说不好用，你要退货吗？你不会。和你说坏，您也不会赔，那末说这样多浪费我口水干吗？(at the same time she is talkin nonstop, so i bombard her with even more.....)
finally i tell her one phrase...
我：不要再打来了，听到没？别浪费我的钱和时间。(and i hang up)
but..... she call again....
钢窝大婶：大姐听我说。。。。
我：你听不懂华文啊？不要再打来了！你很烦嘞！！！(hang up again)
but... she call again...
钢窝大婶：大姐听我说。。。。我们都要做工。(piss me off liao. but i decided don be too mean, shoot her back abit can le)
我：哇！你也知道要做工，还一直打来！！你打来，我如何做工？！他们打不进来。你知道你很烦吗？和你说，你又不听。。。浪费我的电，电话等等的钱。说这样多干吗？问了又问每次一样，每几天就打。(the whole bulk of words shower on her.. though i not sure doew she even listen... cos she talkin behind so i increase my volume.... den... after i shoot abit.. i hang her calls again)
wa.... she so thick skin call again sia....
我:喂!我告诉你,再打多一次我就报警!听到没!(chup..... haha i hang the phone without giving her time to talk or anything...)

my mum really know how to handle all this auntie calls.. she jus throw them to me.. =/ let me piss them off.. den in another two wk time.. they will call again. LOL!! my mum sure got a way to handle those salesman or telemarketer... she use her 王牌(and that me)

LOL pity the lady

2010-02-03T15:53:00.000+08:00

hahaha... seriously i pity the lady who try to outtalk me... but i think i shall post the speech up some day share with u guys.. hahaha but wat to do.. who ask her to bug my mum.. and my mum will ask me to help XD

a sense of uneasiness.

2010-01-14T13:28:00.002+08:00

shytshytshyt!! its a new year.. but why do i suddenly feel like... i suddenly.. i.. its jus startin of the year...
i jus felt like... i still cant really open up... in fact.. i feel the barrel and wall returnin.. this time tighter den it used to be... wat should i be... m i able to tell the truth anymore or will i jus swallow n answer ppl to their question n give them the answer they wan? idk... i felt half dead... like someone not living as my own... heartache...

ytd after watchin the show.. i quote down some thing meaningful... 每个人的心就像你们篮球场上那颗球一样传来传去的。只有落到真爱里才会停止流浪。从今天起你的心不会跳，你的汗水不会有热情，你吃的饭不会有味道，一直到你死的那一天，你都会后悔!

but how many ppl really care or regret? they jus play ard cos they are young.. such immature kid... once again... i m strugglin.. deep within myself... its just like quicksand, always tryin to suck me in... i has to keep fightin within but sometime i jus get so tired...

frens come n go. but i know some who has been there for so long.. its jus feel great.. i don need many... jus u guys is enuff. even if noone know my true heart or feelin, its fine.. cos i really donno wat to do.. more volunteeery comin up. i can keep myself so occupied n bz.. haha escaping u may say.. but its okay.. at least its a way...

haha.. weird weird day.

2010-01-12T18:11:00.002+08:00

today waking up from a weird dream is not enuff.. even i find my mum alil weird. haha... she like tryin to jiao dai abit of thing XD. where all the impt thing n stuffs or w/e are place.. haha... she donno i m sotong meh? how m i suppose to rmb? haha today she told me bout her old days. n when i baby, those gift. den she wanna give me a ring. haha but i cant fit into any.. den she say my finger is fat. HAHAHA!!! i told her. the ring too small la.. haha. den she change her earring too.. den she wanna give me a pair. den i tell her.. for wat? i don even has ear hole.. wakaka.. den she ask me go get 1, i m scare la! rofl... i say if u pei me go make. maybe i will.. i m jus scare of pain ma...

i think new year comin.. they goin spring cleanin.. also findin red packet. and preparing food... goin to pai my granny death anni too.. and one of the frig is goin to break down soon. the freezer part.. oh well.. see how everything goes... wakaka... but at least now. i m living everyday happiler.. though alot.. i m fine... i notice. i has nv really love anyone before.. idk how to love ppl either... maybe the time is not ripe yet. the guy haven come yet.. when it happen i will know everything.. wakaka.. so no rush..

lately got a few programme comin up. all are CDAC volunteer.. wakaka =3 it make me feel so occupied and happy. i wan a job which i can have fun, talk, see ppl happy. XD but now... u haven got reply from that job, although a wk haven pass.. i m nervous... maybe i aint that confident of myself either.

the 1st friday of 2010!!

2010-01-08T09:38:00.004+08:00

hmm... wat life? ytd i heard a frens of my frenz suicide over a gal... izzi worthy... well.. i guess it nv was. but sometime.. emo control our behavour.. end up... its not within our total control. guess crime and incident happen when we are over sad or piss over something...

2nd day after the interview.. jumpy, waitin for a reply.. ytd.. i did alot of stuffs.. cdac mail me again. another volunteering programme.. i m excited bout it.. yet again, i scare it crash with my work schedule...

hahaha.. i cant believe wat i did today.. i cook lunch!! <3>.< srysry ="3

XD went to the interview..

2010-01-06T15:36:00.003+08:00

its was a fun interview.. but den i got to wait 2 and a half wk... hope i can get it.. it jus sound so totally diff and fun... cant wait cant wait... but this few days.. i goin get bz.. XD thks you 2010... u give me a nice start.. a nice dream to see to....

yea.. new year...

2010-01-05T20:51:00.000+08:00

i m excited.. abit nervous too.. but tml i got a job interview... wish me luck o =3

yea! 2010 is here

2010-01-01T22:23:00.000+08:00

a brand new year to start everything new.. i got lotsa wish... i will slowly make them happen 12 mth to do everything!! hahaha bzbzbzbz~ work for it..

i jus know my frens give me a new nick.. nokia why?? (cos nokia always say... connecting ppl) haha.. i think she is smart.. =3 to be able to think of that.. anyway.. i really miss shini ppl.. i even post up a groups.. now it gettin abit lively... haha cos of the peep.. it feel warm like a family. compare to hakuron. one feel like heaven, one feel like hell.. oh well.. diff ppl... =3 i miss them.....

hope one day can get back the guild outing.. not ingame though cos everyone grow up... k leave my blog till here for today... my mami shoutin for me to have dinner..

aww. my poor yanyan have fallen sick.. haha... lucky he haven sch reopen.. LOLZ!

the last post of 2009

2009-12-31T23:04:00.001+08:00

short n sweet. 1 line... byebye 2009 and hello 2010~ brand new year, brand new start~ brand new memories ♥ as least that wat i hope... and some other wishes.. i don wan post up... haha not ez come true..

wat should i choose?

2009-12-12T16:41:00.003+08:00

i feel like goin MIA, take a break from life... don feel like talkin... wat should i do? should i go missing. will anyone geniuly care n miss me?? how long will i be missing? will everything be the same? or will i start from a total big fat zero this time?? i cant decide...

Lyrics:

Everybody's always talking at me
Everybody's trying to get in my head
I wanna listen to my own heart talking
I need to count on myself instead

Chorus:
Did you ever?
Zac:
Loose yourself to get what you want
Chorus:
Did you ever?
Zac:
Get on a ride and wanna get off
Chorus:
Did you ever?
Zac:
Push away the ones you should've held close
Did you ever let go?
Did you ever not know?

I'm not gonna stop, that's who I am
I'll give it all I got, that is my plan
Will I find what I lost?
You know you can
Bet on it, bet on it
Bet on it, bet on it
(Bet on me)
I wanna make it right, that is the way
To turn my life around, today is the day
Am I the type of guy who means what I say?
Bet on it, bet on it
Bet on it, bet on it

How will I know if there's a path worth taking?
Should I question every move I make?
With all Ive lost my heart is breaking
I don't wanna make the same mistake

Chorus:
Did you ever?
Zac:
Doubt your dream will ever come true
Chorus:
Did you ever?
Zac:
Blame the world and never blame you
Chorus: I will never
Zac:
Try to live a lie again
I don't wanna win this game if I can't play it my way

I'm not gonna stop, that's who I am
(Who I am)
I'll give it all I got, that is my plan
(That's my plan)
Will I find what I lost?
You know you can
(You know you can)
Bet on it, bet on it
Bet on it, bet on it
Bet on me

I wanna make it right, that is the way
To turn my life around, today is the day
Am I the type of guy who means what I say
Bet on it, bet on it
Bet on it, bet on it

Oh,Hold up
Give me room to think
Bring it on down
Gotta work on my swing
Gotta do my own thing
Hold up

It's no good at all
To see yourself and not recognize your face
Out on my own, it's such a scary place

The answers are all inside of me
All I gotta do is believe

I'm not gonna stop
Not gonna stop 'til I get my shot
That's who I am, that is my plan
Will I end up on top?
You can bet on it, bet on it
Bet on it, bet on it
You can bet on it, bet on it
Bet on it, bet on it

I wanna make it right, that is the way
To turn my life around, today is the day
Am I the type of guy who means what I say
Bet on it, bet on it
Bet on it, bet on it

You can bet on me

hint of isolation happenin.

2009-12-11T13:53:00.004+08:00

1stly i wanna say first. this goin to be a long long post... so if u goin to read it.. don say its long.. i cant really control all emotion much longer. i felt so heavy... let start with something light first... den heavy den idk wat to say bout that de. lolz...

i got ther weirdest dream ever.. LOL. i m serious.. cant believe i got... fated? truth? let talk bout the dream few days ago first.. i dreamt i was landed in hospital.. n wat worst. is i almost die twice... den idk wat happen. the hospital become kinda haunted. full of zombie? or idk wat those creature.. but there is one guy i like. or love? even idk... he come up or ran up to find me.. m happy to see him, yet i found out.. there is another gal who like him... den suddenly he jus disappear.. weird... nvm, this mornin i jus got one more weird dream... another guy. i donno why i keep bumpin into him. 1st at outside... stranger.. den 2nd time at a job interview... n 3rd at my hse!! someone's son... er. cousin? dono leh.. no impression... den there was a lady in my room... give birth to a tiny baby... she roll off the bed. almost flatten the veryvery tiny baby.. only bout finger size. was save by me... its weird n creepy.. the string haven cut off n very long.. yet the mother in law was in the kitchen n said. was waitin for the mother to killed the baby cos too fat. flatten the baby n baby die. cos they cannot afford or something... wow! yet the guy whom i saw for so many times, keep appearing beside me.. who is he sia. rofl... nvm... this are jus dream... or are they??

last sunday... er.. but i went on sat. LOLZ. cos we are suppose to met at 12am at certain pick-up point... mine was at yishun... so i set off bout 11plus.. i reach at 11.35 or 40, n the bus is already there so i jus board it n sit behind... mindin my own biz. den i got to know of a malay gal. n we chat abit.. we reach the pandan at 12.45am i think.. i only rmb its was damn early... den we go n register at the volunteer counter. get our shirt n change.. as i scare of cold. i jus wear on.. den i met glenn. he was also there. with one old couple, alvin there too. den i got to know of a gal name val, who assume those are my family or couple or something.. its was funny. den we chat more n so on~ haha... n we happen to get a 'not so smart, think within the box, n only see squarish' de leader =3 eg, he bring us down to the espanda there. so late ofc close rite.. den he choose to walk out using the car drive exit = =" cant he jus use the exit stair? its faster n shorter cut.(actually in the start can jus cross the road, its even faster) LOL! another incident.. the toilet was so near. yet he say the long way to all the way back to where we start off in the begainin... *fainted* one more even more fun one... can jus walk str to met point... he wan us to walk one bigbig round to pick up litter = =" everyone was so shag already.. stand whole day... jagar whole day..... rofl... he is slow too...
we are dislike like almost 2plus pm = =" i will skip other funny detail.... i posted some pic on facebook. oh got to know a guy there. he was suppose to run full marathon but den he got injured so he din run. he took alot of photo.. http://picasaweb.google.com/qqlaisk (credit to him and thks for sharing the link with me) and there is one short clip here.. =3 enjoy it.

now to talk bout something alil more serious... work stuffs. are ppl really trustable? in every interview.. they sure to ask. are u okay to work alil ot.. who will ever answer no rite? but wat if.. u don get wat u really tots? u work ot every single days? n a free ot for 2.5hr without gettin ot pay? how long are u willin to do that? suffering in silence... its all part of work... but wat if ur askin n suddenly ur boss call u up n tell u " i don tolerate such nonsense, u say ok when being interview... blah blah. if u don wan. tml can don need come in" haha. how power is that... but how many free ot will u work? without gettin paid at all?! being workin from 9 till 7.30 per day. even one wk. already more den 44hr per wk... its already breech the SOP of MOM.. haiz. speechless. maybe cos top agent from prudential is bz.. haha.. everyday i see other colleague. off work at 6pm, feel dishearted yet i strive even harder... yet i heard all their pay is like at least 400bucks more den mine.. i gettin a very low bargain.. my dad ask me quit. sayin i m like a cheap labour. LOL overwork totally without being pay rite... frens feel i got werid after i startin work, i din even notice... some feel. why ur boss like this. other feel. did ur partner did something.. i seriously got no idea.. i m gettin more n more workload each day. part of learnin. but den. i feel like a lil maid. haha =3 maybe she wan me to get used to the place where the stuffs. but yet.. she say everyone got their way of doing.. yet when i do it my way. i got scolded.. wat if miss out.. haiz if so. why don jus give me the sop n i jus follow? sigh... really no idea.. alot alot of my mind. but the next day when i went back office. boss say ' u sure cannot a' its like a totally diff person.. weird.... i till now don uds.

one final thing before i end this post... how can ppl change... yet i cant even tell. m i so dumb to believe? are guys all so not trustable.. sweet talk n two time u? n in the end. they scold u bitch n blame u? even when u din do anything n swallow all the pain n suffering... wat happen. why do ppl change? from something to nothing overnight... so cold.. act blur... ppl always say there no right or wrong.. but in the end. when u decided to give up n suffer alone.. not tellin anything.. ppl come n bark at u. and blame u for everything single shyt.. how much more of prob can i take before i really collapse again.. hahaha... sometime i wish i get memories lost. forget everything i ever know... i feel so helpless day after day... i feel so alone.. i keep lockin myself. how do i unlock if shyt keep happenin. how do i trust if ppl keep breakin them.. i m jus a normal gal who needa care n love as well... i love myself.. i care bout myself.. but yet... y m i lettin myself suffer alone n keepin it... so wat if i say out. nth help... T.T i wanna cry.. but i wont.. i felt my heart so pain. so heavy.. so tired... so cold already...........

i feel like isolating........

=( road of no return.

2009-12-02T21:17:00.000+08:00

i m back to where i started... i shall say more tml.. its late today.. =(

washin n throwin

2009-11-28T23:11:00.003+08:00

i have plan.. i really do. but can i do it? will i do it.. haha too much to handle at a times. i overwhelm with sadness n disappointed.. so dishearted. yet it make me so strong... that i wanna beat it at it own game...
who don wanna be good n well? who don wanna be happy... who wanna make ppl angry or sad? noone.. but sometime u jus cant control... =3 lettin go is one thing.. moving on too. i m stuck in my comfort zone. i m shuttin ppl off. havin ppl tell me str in my face is one thing... i know wat i did. n i assume noone know.. till now. i know someone do.. he know n read me... does anyone know or izzi jus that they don bother.. wat do i really wan... wat can i do... think think think..

its late. i shall not talk much.. i m too confuse in my mind now to think well either... hatred are tiring... loving is hard too... but i needa do wat i needa do. love myself more.. be alil more selfish... ppl are takin u for grant. care bout urself. kindness don always bring u good thing =3 i know i m so sad n whiney now... i know its bother me. but i cant keep swallow it can i.. wat can i do now? wat should i do now? noone can teach. they can only say.. wat rite wat wrong. there no saying... adaptin is the way... why do i mature out of sudden. or izzi i jus refuse to crawl out of shell?? izzi cos its time... izzi cos i have to... or i jus too tired to hold on....
i know there are ppl who wanna be there yet i shut them out. i m sry cos i donno wat to say or how to say.. i know i tied the knot... i m sry...... i need help.. yet idk how to ask.

screaming

2009-11-25T07:57:00.002+08:00

haha. weird title rite.. that wat my body doing.. its rebelling but i m tryin to keep it in control. tryin ignore it... even try to pretend idk. but i cant. it hard... i know its gettin weak. i goin fall sick soon. but i wont let that happen. i needa fighto!! gogogo!!!!!!! i donno if anyone can really take it... i m so shag. wat make it worst is the matter of heart n feeling... be it frenz or w/e... i m disappointed n sad.. all i see now are excuses to cover up... but why... cant ppl jus be honest? why do they tend to forget wat they ever sad? should ppl jus come n go? make use finish n jus forget? izzi a trend? den so be it... i m too hurt all over... all the scar n cuts are not recoving n yet new one are added.. some even on my old one.... i felt so broken n shattered... haiz... don talk so much le.. i m off to work. don wan late.

hittin the point..

2009-11-22T22:57:00.002+08:00

eh.. i got alot of words bottled up.. yet idk wat to say.. i feel myself bursting.. yet... idk... haiz... struggle... i m unhappy bout donno wat. i m so so disappointed... but there nth i can do... its always happen.. ppl are always the same...

mum went to gonggong jia with bro le... i wanna go too. take a break... i m so stress up now... i m really really unhappy... =( maybe cryin will feel better.. but i don uds why i acting so strong... when i m breakin into pieces inside... someone save me... nvm... don ned. got ppl i also donno say wat... maybe... i should shut up again....... for sometime...

Prediction came true...

2009-11-19T21:34:00.001+08:00

haiz.. today i found out one of my prediction came thru... or izzi call foresee... its kinda scary.. but oh well... is my judgement on gals always so true??

i m in a moody mood... so frustrated.. jumpy.. idk.. i m so disappointed. alil depress.... wordless...

in a nutshell.. i m tired.. maybe... jus maybe.. i will give up n quit game.....

1st wk of work..

2009-11-15T22:19:00.002+08:00

XD work is fun.. alot alot to learn. alil stress sometime. but its something totally diff. its nice.. alot to do... time pass fast too.... but i ot everyday.. i don deny that.. its tiring.. but at least its fulfiliing.. =3 i will keep it short. cos i don have much time.. haven go shoppin yet... xmas comin... wow. alot of thing to do. yet i m lackin of time.... goin miss my frens.. workin is alil no life.. but yet.. at least there is aim.. =3 something meaningful to do...

misa feel so upset...

2009-11-06T20:08:00.002+08:00

haiz.......... i felt so noob... so un-needed. so unwanted.. so jus 1 word.. WEAK. not welcome at all... wat are frenz for. when u keep gettin excluded? are words ever to be trusted? are ppl ever to really care. m i really needed or jus a tool when noone on9. izzi my fault that i went out n not on9 at noon? leadin to now i m so excluded? T.T i m runnin out of time... but its okay... noone care. i don care either... 2 more days... n byebye.... no time le..........

i m sad... disappointed..... its sux either way..

be it real or game. its make up of ppl... human are always the same. selfish.. i m tired of being kind n patient n forgiving n saying okay. nvm... always other before self... it give me nth but sadness...

sit one corner draw circle =(

victory..

2009-11-04T16:54:00.003+08:00

2 gd news.

1st... i won the event. though only consolation. not a bad gift...

2nd.... i got the job.. =3 let gambateh...

=/ fearful

2009-11-01T21:52:00.002+08:00

been bz lately n alil troubled so i din blog... okay let start off with good news..
1stly.. bout the dance event. we won ourself.. flower couple costume.. but i haven got the code yet... yea.. so sad rite.. hahaha
2nd.. since lastnight. i havin nightmare. or izzi werid dream.. a big green slume... its big n squary. with a red cap. i forgot wat is written on it. n it kill or idk. i don even know why are we runnin... its in a shoppin center... so weird... i still have those imagines and impression... hmmm. wat does it really mean to have a red dog runnin at u.. so many dog.. but why izzi one is so bloody red? it creep me out totally... cars... house... O.O puppet too... half of it think.. only with butt n leg. but its seem alive.. wow... creepy... i know now its hallooween but don haunt my dreams. i m timid. hahaha.. XD okay. i will stop here for today. tml i still have my 2nd interview to appear. hope i get the job. at least its some pay. take off my time.. n i don need be home XD... w/e

overlappin progs

2009-10-28T12:27:00.002+08:00

lately alot alot of stufs to do. no time to whine no time to think.. haha its good u see. i wont feel happy or sad that way... cos i got no time~ wakakak. its totally pack with stuffs. went for a interview ytd. wait for call. my frenz checkin up. if not i get another one..

our hakuron dance vid still not complete. got another test one.. i will add it up.. den again.. there is another vid i m part of it.. so i will add both later on...

hoho... i wan more event more camps. i don care. jus wanna make myself so real bz.. XD u may think i m sot. but i m bz till idk how to manage my time. seem alil not enuff time. but i m happy for sure... at least. there no like or don like.. but well.. family drama still happen everyday... n ytd is my dadi birthday. once again. he is older again... *worried* work more.. more $.$

hakuron test dance

2009-10-23T17:44:00.002+08:00

feeling alil emoish today.. got alots of event comin up.. i think i gettin crappy at event managing >.< den again... i choose this road... have to accept it.. camps n camps... i will cancel today one. need a break.. anyway.. i will post up a video bout our dance.. enjoys =3

sicker

2009-10-07T22:55:00.001+08:00

sick n more sick. who care. more event pls... don wanna stay home. bth..

i will keep it short. no time... goin deaf. update again.

glad.

2009-09-30T16:05:00.002+08:00

there something which make me please. the event on sat.. haha... its was a success i think. m happy that the costume i make are appreciated.. hope for more event. =3.. cheers.

i m fine. i m fine. i m ......

2009-09-24T17:12:00.002+08:00

haiz.... i m not able to say it 3 times... i cant deny it.... =( i seem so calm. yet i dream of it everyday. everynight... i m suffering... who can help me... its so painful... i m so hurting... i feel so helpless now. hahaha... i try acceptin the fact. but its so hard to swallow... idk how to put into word either. donno how to tell... this time.. its really shytty... even the fairy cant help me... i donno how to handle it... i don wanna cry.. i m glad my frens are happy. but...

i feel something pierce thru me... i... don feel like talkin anymore.... idk who to talk to...... hug myself tightly.... i.... i....... haiz

predicting.. and icyniess....

2009-09-23T09:25:00.002+08:00

haiz.. i seem to be able to predict wat goin to happen.. its hurt... well. its all over i guess.. but it fine... m i really fine. idk. i cant tell if i m acting fine.. i keep having dream of it all the time... cant explain it... it scary i guess.. why muz my dream always be so accurate? i m suffering deep inself...

i don uds why i seem so calm. yet i know in my heart. i m bleeding n hurting... its ok.. it will re-ice itself again... will someone feel it before it is fully iced back. this time even stronger...

my hope are there. my wish are there. i will still work for it... will i wait for mircale? yet i know wat goin to happen... sometime i rather donno... =( its bad.. really bad... i m tired n scare... so dark.......

i totally hated myself.....

moody week

2009-09-17T17:11:00.002+08:00

lolz. donno wat wrong with me. this few days. i feel alil moody. preoccupied... stressful... no appetite... i feel very clouded... i think it will pass in a few days =3 its normal... i feel so uncomfy n pain =/ toss n turn.. oh well...

i m startin to have goals... dreams... but den... izzi reachable?? idk how... even if i wanna do. i need chances.. who goin to give me one. do i needa change my goal? my dream... if i willing to give. will they take it??

wat will my future be... its still very misty... but at least i m willing to take a step by abit... i m interested to see yet i feel scare.. i m empty.... oh well... its me... but rite now... i no longer care bout alot of thing.. nth seem to really bother me... cos i know wat n who i wan..

i m surprise by it. and glad by it too... bloggin is a good way to release real prob. cos noone really know... hahaha... i have alot to nag bout.. but i guess not today... i m startin to feel alil more cheerful now... =3

<3 monkey.. haha.... i jus found out. my er jie got a pet monkey call affe. but den again.. that jus a toy =x LOLx.... but its cute..

mix confusion..

2009-09-13T22:52:00.000+08:00

ytd.. i went to help out at CDAC. wow cool. we make costume for ourself and some other ppl.. haha. its for our event.. two wk later.. it turn out quite nice... m quite please with the costume we make with the limited resources.. =3 n its look cool too... hope the kids goin to like it. but its not yet totally done. so we will continue it next week..

today i accidentally cut my leg.. n it bleed. n i din notice. lolz... silly me.....

hmmm... anyone ever feel that. this person is the rite person for u? someone whom u wan n willing to spend the rest of ur life with? ever feel that.. u wan nobody else except that one? ever feel that... someone is irreplaceable? ever feel that... ur heart n mind cant place anyone in. even if u talkin with someone else... ur thinkin only bout ur that person.. and u got no mood for rubbish prob n stuffs.

awww.. i got alot of thing to say n share. but my mum yellin nonstop n its gettin too irritating n distract my tots. so i goin continue next time...

i miss my monkey =3 *kiss*

nobody- wondergirl

2009-09-01T15:24:00.002+08:00

You know i still LOVE you baby,
And it will never change

I want nobody, nobody but you
I want nobody, nobody but you
I want no one else but you
Can't have anyone but you
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

Why are you trying to push me away?
you know that I hate it,
you ignore what im saying
Why are you trying to send me to other?
You push me away like a little
each day why?

Saying that this is for my own good
Saying that you are just not worth it
Please, stop it right now coz'
you know me enough that i will come back to you no matter what!

I want nobody, nobody but you
I want nobody, nobody but you
I want no one else but you
Can't have anyone but you
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

I want nobody, nobody but you
I want nobody, nobody but you
I want no one else but you
Can't have anyone but you
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

All the pushing won't change my feelings
I am happy to have you,
more than willing to please you
i'm begging you please
don't walk away from me
Coz' i can't be happy away
from your side

Saying that this is for my own good
Saying that you are just not worth it
Please, stop it right now coz'
you know me enough that i will come back to you no matter what!

I want nobody, nobody but you
I want nobody, nobody but you
I want no one else but you
Can't have anyone but you
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

I want nobody, nobody but you
I want nobody, nobody but you
I want no one else but you
Can't have anyone but you
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

I don't want nobody, body
I don't want nobody, body
Life is unperfect without seeing you
I cannot have anyone but you... ahhh

I want nobody, nobody but you
I want nobody, nobody but you
I want no one else but you
Can't have anyone but you
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

I want nobody, nobody but you
I want nobody, nobody but you
I want no one else but you
Can't have anyone but you
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

Rap:
BacK to the days when we were
so young and wild and free
Everything we had back then
was like a dream
If only i could turn back time
Why do you keep on pushing me away?
why do you push me away?
I don't want nobody, nobody,
nobody. nobody but you

You Know I still Love You Baby
And it will never change

Chorus
I want nobody nobody But You
I want nobody nobody But You
난 다른 사람은 싫어
니가 아니면 싫어
I want nobody nobody
nobody nobody

난 싫은데 왜 날 밀어내려고 하니
자꾸 내 말은 듣지 않고
왜 이렇게 다른 남자에게
날 보내려 하니
어떻게 이러니

날 위해 그렇단 그 말
넌 부족하다는 그 말
이젠 그만해 넌 나를 알잖아
왜 원하지도 않는 걸 강요해

Chorus x2

난 좋은데 난 행복한데
너만 있으면 돼 더 바랄게 없는데
누굴 만나서 행복하란 거야
난 널 떠나서 행복할 수 없어

날 위해 그렇단 그 말
넌 부족하다는 그 말
말이 안 되는 말이란 걸 왜 몰라
니가 없이 어떻게 행복해

Chorus x2

I dont want nobody body
I dont want nobody body
나는 정말 니가 아니면
니가 아니면 싫단 말야 아

Chorus x2

Back to the days
when we were so young
and wild and free
모든게 너무나 꿈만 같았던
그 때로 돌아가고 싶은데
왜 자꾸 나를 밀어내려 해
why do you push me away
I dont want nobody nobody
Nobody nobody but you

p.s the 1st is eng version. the 2nd is korea version.. great hit! lolz. really love this song... =3

xiao hu tu

2009-08-31T20:55:00.000+08:00

>.< omgomgomg... how hu tu can i be... i wish i stop being so sotong n muddle head...

i went to cut my hair today.. =3 hehehe... its consider short for me. but my mum seem so happy bout it... i admit i look diff.

but.. i seem to forgot my hairclip there. LOLz damn. how much sotong can i be.. lucky i rmb to bring my ipod n my phone back... if not. maybe i will cry... i really need someone to take care of me. lolz... *hint*

i hope some cpy will reply my resume. even if reject me. at least i know they receive... shortlisted to be notify.. i feel so brink of darkness. nvm. i wont give up... i will get the job... i will do my best.. give all my best... but rite now.. i got a bigbig strength pushin me on...

troubled lil angel

2009-08-30T18:33:00.001+08:00

=( i m so troubled. by mini mini prob. its solvable.. but today i learn something else.. there is stuffs where. even if u speak or tell someone bout it. it wont feel better. u needa solve it... its goin to be hard. but i know i can do it. i m no longer young.... but den... i can do it...

i m startin to see wat i wan to do.. wat i need to do. takin the 1st step is hard... doing it is even harder.. but i cant give up now.. now that i saw a path... its the only path to a light.. be it a risk or w/e i m going... i m real thksful to that bigbig motivation given to me by someone special..

i have been talkin bout it and doin nth. but this time.. i cant believe i did it. i did 1st step n everything.. i know i m afraid. but still. i did it... i don deny i din overcome my fear. but he give me the strength to face it and jus do it. even though i m scare... <3 really very very happy =3 shhhhhh...

a msg a day is really happy enuff for me... hope i can control n don be greedy o. yipeee........ a msg can totally jus make my day and make me so happy ( m i addicted? rofl.. wat a funny way to say it anyway... but... hahaha... thinkin of him make me smile. and i feel my heart get warm alil)

Happy birthday to you =3

2009-08-27T15:15:00.000+08:00

Today is the birthday of someone special to me. =3 i m so happy for him... but den.. seem like noone celebrate birthday for him... poor thing. its ok.. i m goin to celebrate it for him next year... so he will no longer be alone. or feelin lonely... i will jus do my best. =3 so sry that i din do well this yr or have a present for u. din have time to plan or do anything either...

really feel so happy... i feel that i m flying..... so happy that i feel that i m floatin in lala land =3. *kyyaaah*

p.s feeel so blissful and lucky. <3 happy happy...
("Happy bday to u~ U live in the Zoo~ U look lyk a monkey, N~ U act lyk one too~ <3")

so happy that i found a motivation... i wanna be a event coordinator. i know its goin to be hard n stressful yet challenging.. i hope a company will hire me.. and... let me try n work hard for it...

=^.^=

2009-08-24T13:56:00.001+08:00

=3 i m happy... warm.. light.. hohoho... word cannot describe.. but i really scare of being more greedy. i scare of losing it... i m starting to care more n more... i cant stop myself anymore... <3 its so sweet so comfy... i wonder how. i wonder when... its this is a dream.. i don wanna wakey.. lolz.. i always too dreamy aint i.. =3 but i m so happy. happy for real.. for so long now.. goin treasure it. enjoy it day to day...

fightofightofighto

2009-08-23T17:28:00.000+08:00

i see light. i wanna get near it like a insect wanna get near a light. it attracted me. but at the same time i know its deathly. wat m i goin to do?

its feel like my charger.. to recharge my batteries... i notice i m feelin weak n sick lately... rite now. i really feel like quoting this phrase n show it to him. but i m scare it might scare him away... Every star u see in the sky, is qiqi saying 'i love you'. The wind that blows softly by your ear, is qiqi saying, 'i miss you'. The warm sunshine that shines on ur skin is becos i open my arm to embrace u. if it rains. it means that qiqi, without _____ by her side, feel really lonely.

hehe... nvm... i m really very contended now. even if its a dream. i m thksful its happen... something to look forward. something for a change. i m really veryvery happy. yet i m scare i might get greedy... i wish it may go on... but i still don dare to place too much of a hope... i m still as lack of confident.. still needing of assurance.. but its fine.. its always been fine rite.. i m always strong... =3

will i be able to give up? will i be able to take it if i lose this light? m i really ready to fight for it?? i know i have fallen in.. but its really very comfy... i love this feelin rite now.. i feel alike... at least now... i can feel my heartbeat. i know its not as dead as i assume.. but how did he get past my firewall which i build with so much might n tots. i feel so wonderful now... let me be happy awhile more... i wanna treasure and protect this for as long as i can.. within my means.

i will blog till here for today... i m feeling unwell............

i m rite x 3

2009-08-16T19:29:00.000+08:00

i m rite. i m rite. i m rite.. when i say 3 times... it mean i meant it... hahaha thing i always say n predict always come true... hahaha!!! its not a good thing...

so sick today... i keep sneeze n sneeze... donno wat wrong... T.T feel so weak...

i kinda found out wat i wan... i wont give up... not goin be easy. but i goin to work my way there. my net lately got prob.. so i wont post a long blog... anyway... today i learn a touchin touchin phrase...

every star u see mean i love you. every breeze that blow pass ur ear mean i miss.. the warmth of the sun mean i m openin my arm to embrace u....

fk up low class 61tch~!!!

2009-08-12T11:24:00.001+08:00

haiz.. how do u forgive someone if that someone don wan apologize why are guys always blinded n cant see those 61tch tail... they are stupid rite... wat to do... i m tired... should stop gaming. even my frens whom i know longer..... side her... Whyt. ya... why....... wat a name. even yell at me so loud to please her...

WORST DAY EVER

2009-07-26T21:41:00.001+08:00

screw it la!! fk u. knn... out to make a fool out of me rite! i wish today don exist. only make me sad n sad.!!!

i bite i bite i bite bite bite..

2009-07-23T20:42:00.003+08:00

ok... label me as mad ba.. I DON CARE! GAH!... lolz..................

hime got alot to say...

2009-07-15T12:56:00.002+08:00

jus like wat the title say. i got alot to say... but words are not comin out from my mouth anymore.. i m speechless.. so filled up with problem... omg. wat should i do. wat do i wan... i m so confuse.. i guess i totally mess thing up, i m so tired of runnin... but stayin still hurt me even more den ever.. so much is goin thru my mind rite now.. that i feel like i m collasping. hohoho... don wry. i always pick myself up din i... cos noone is really there to stay. n idk how to make ppl stay anyway.

i wish to start everything all over again.. there alot of thing i will do... but there is nv regret... cos its wat i went thru which make me who i m now... but... i m tired of acting so strong when i m so fragile.... i feel so alone... why o why... i think i jus found a suitable song to post up as well.. hoho

i know its stupid to wish death upon urself... i feeel cowardly know... but den... sometime i really wish to jus end it... rather den being so painful... idk wat to do.. i feel helpless... no strength for thing... i know that someone is there.. but... my barrel is so uber big... idk wat to do. how should i face myself... i can keep hide it. i cant trash it.. even if i try ignore for now... it always come back to me.. certain prob can nv be solve. i need a new environment.. i need motivation... things are now so near yet so far!!! someone pls save me... but who the one... =(

i m starting to give up hope... izzi my fault that i refuse to share.. but i see noone to be fully trusted... nor do i wanna burden them with my problem which is only as big as a green bean.. but its totally haunting me.

ok enuff whining for today... i m jus screw... i may always wish n wish for thing. but when it come.. its jus not rite... wat do i really wan... idk... pls fate... where izzi?!

Boo... lolz. sot me

2009-07-08T18:27:00.002+08:00

De faithful dog Hachiko is a famous Akita who waited 10yr at shibuya station for his dead master to come hm from work. Hachiko died at the same spot it and his master last parted.

ok i know that was ramdom.. guess wat more... i was readin up a nice story my frens make up n i come up with a part 2 or. let say... a return of the evil or wat so ever. but i m so flooded with idea... need it to cool down i guess...

pure cusiousity

2009-07-06T10:52:00.002+08:00

1stly. i wanna thks those who come on sat... uberly huge thks. and those that ton over under the lovely moon n windy night. lolz... haha.. its a tiring day i know. a long journey to walk. i hope everyone have funs.

questionair time...
1. WHO will u call if ur drunk?
2. WHO do u wanna talk to when ur drunk?
3. WHY?
4. CAN drunk people be trusted in their words?
5. HOW deep can the trust be?
6. ARE people who are drunk always n only speak the truth?
7. WHY do they wanna get drunk?

... got a few more.. i post when i sort it out..

whispering voices (2)

2009-07-01T17:56:00.002+08:00

3more days to the party... or izzi 2 more.. gah watever... i m not as excited as i assume i would be.. is something missing so badly.. or m i jus too plain emo to feel it... *shrug*

games games games... everything is a game... game changes. feel so retarded... gah... thing always change don they... improvement is good.. but sometime. its turn sour... who care.. enjoy for now...

lately.. i seem to have wonder dream... sometime i become so real that it happen later on.. wow!!! but at the same time. if i get unhappy dream... wat if it happen... dreams is always a dream rite. though sometime its seem to be telling story. wakakka... happy happy...

hmmm... gah i m busy today... i blog more tml... leave u guys a cute game to play
Virtual Villagers: The Lost Children

Click here to play this game

whispering voices

2009-06-30T15:12:00.002+08:00

hahaha. been so long since i last blog here... alot have happen... time passes. even though i may seem to stand on the same spot... omg... i m growin old... goin 21 soon... jus few more days.. i feel old... i feel like i wasted time.. den again. i wish its all nv happen... can i be emo like i always m? but den again... wat for... i should be happy rite. so ppl will feel happy too... why m i always living my life for others. wat bout myself?

always bigbig fight at home... its hurt... hurt so badly... i m covered with scars... wat do i wan now? wat do i really wan??? why don i have a single answer? when i ask myself.. *shrug* clueless....

that time. an incident happen at the mrt station.. well.. the card machine are eating cash like wat some ppl complain bout... but yea... i keep the detail for another time...

right now.. i have so much to say... yet words cant be put into tots.. i m so troubled. so bothered... its feel unreal... i nv understand ppl... i feel helpless... i cant even help myself. how m i goin to help others... should i stay the same.. don trust ppl don place any hope??

do i really hope n plan my future? i did think bout it... but wat did i see?? for now.... its still total darkness... but why... i have frens.. but somehow.. its feel weird... emptiness.... alone... its feel so fake. maybe i m the fake one... *open her heart n check* it hurt... i can feel it beating... yet... i felt it lock... its tryin to be more open n knowing people... yet its so scare.. should i jus throw away all my sheild. but i m so scare... its so pain...

been sick... den those dreams... i know its tryin to tell me meaning.. but wat.. but wat?! i cant seem to figure it out...

do i really have a bright future? or even a future to think n await? i keep find thing to keep myself occupy.. i dislike the quiet night. its too lonely... n i always cant slp.. but i hate the day even more... mum yellin n stuffs.. no peace... its like.. i have a spit. fightin within myself...

nvm.. don feel like talkin now... emoing.......... pitch dark... i m scare..

talkin to myself

2009-06-18T19:55:00.001+08:00

i have alot to blog. but... i think i need courage to put it down to words. sigh... in pain....

Happy chinese birthday to myself...

2009-06-16T22:25:00.001+08:00

wow... mircile... but i nth much to say... too fan cannot think str.... with all the naggin.. but... there too much 61tches in this world!! destory them pls!!! wakakaka...

A Song dedicated to me XD

2009-06-09T21:32:00.000+08:00

someone share this song with me... lol... nice nice song... share with everyone ba~ its dedicated to me.. XD wakakakaka...

Freja(sandra) the betrayer

2009-06-02T15:25:00.001+08:00

gah... once again.. i taste the feeling of being betrayed.. n havin the promise broken.... hurts.... Ah... watever la.... curse those bitches..

Peekin XiaoQiang

2009-05-18T20:16:00.003+08:00

hahaa. ytd when i bath. that xiaoqiang come n peek at me sia. den i scald it to death... hohoho =x

this few days, quite alot of happen.. but i get so unhappy n upset...
so desvastated sia... hahahaha.... oh well. some ppl are so fk up... they spoilt the game... i fail-ed for the first time but i din regret joinin. i got to know some marveous peeps. =) which make me happy n that enuff.. but now i got no reason to stay ingame...

vent my anger... human are selfish... i learn it long ago... but now... i think its always true... and... i guess. i will always be disappointed... lucky no hope = no hurt =) don care them. fker.. they are jus scoundrel... do so much for them also waste my time only...
they don appeciate. n worst. they push all the work to me... nice game with fk up ppl = fk up game... not fun... quit XD anime n manga n movie are better... spend the day n it go bys... or maybe workin time. i have enuff rest le...

wait. i wan play sports. more sport. lost weight. XD den... bright bright future...

i m myself. i m going for a battle.. another try.. if i give up now. mean i lost everything... that mean i lost to myself. it not goin to happen. who m i! look mess with me, don look down on me. u so gona get it... curse u. i will win! i will get wat i wan. i can do it de!!! for myself, for love. for dream... for so many thing. keep my hope alive. so i can move on...

if i get down again. i shall hide away for awhile. it will make me feel better... since sometime i 3min hot degree... i be fine like i always do... ppl are fk up, depend on noone but urself... i m ussed to disappointment. used to be aeroplane... used to everything... i have no feelin for those now.. so right now... i will ignore sad. cos i m numb to everything except happniess.. =) be happy everyday... happy happy... smile more... =) den i look younger. rofl =x den i wont fall sick easy. sad = sick easy... hehe

let go at last??

2009-05-12T14:52:00.002+08:00

finally its time to let go? no more changes? cant think anymore? new life? be happy? argh, fk la... idk... idc... for now. i m happy.... staying that way... why should i affect my feelin so bad. why should i cry? noone care. i care... smile... omg. cant wait for my sentosa trips. the last trip is so long ago.. I M GOIN TO HAVE FUN FUN FUN!!!! FK CARE THE REST N PLAY!!! VENT ANGER!!

awwww. i m crazy. who care... speechless....

Blue screen of death lead to love sick...

2009-05-05T17:00:00.000+08:00

T.T comp crash totally for like 1wk T.T so sad.................. sick..............................